2/27/2018 2 Comments February 27th, 2018Where does one begin? Does it matter if the end starts at the beginning? Or does it not really matter at all? There's a contradictory nature to the way I live my life in that most things end as I start them and it's only once finished that I begin. I only start the process of coming down once I've finished going up, and vice versa. A head-spinningly nonsensical path of confusion and distraughtness met with the ecstatic release of clarity. A truly remarkable finish to something new.
I encourage you stay with me as another point of view to the absolutely unfathomable expression of humanity. A mosaic of Wills actively or passively passing through this thing we call life in hopes we meet void with confidence and poise. The thing is, I suppose, is that all forms of life is an expression of death. Maybe that's rather morbid for a Tuesday thought. However, I reject that any day other than today, and perhaps tomorrow's today, or the days after tomorrow's today would be a good time to reflect on the matter of death. The thought of death arrives to me today as it has in the past. An existential expression of time passed. A process paradoxically perceived as shortening despite the 25 years gone past. The confusion becomes clear as a ride my bike up and down the hills to my friends house. I realize that the series of (un)fortunate events that brought me here are indeed laid out in a line like that of a road. However, as I reflect clarity arises! You see my minds memories are not linear, they are a cloud, broad and menacing, punctured by streaming beams of sun and booming claps of thunder. It grows with time! I then simultaneously arrive at an idea and my friends house. "The point of life is not to live a long life but a large life." A radical shift takes place as the choas of the moment intensifies into new order. The way I live my life has changed. Pure catharsis. Thank you for reading Robin's rambles
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2/26/2018 4 Comments February 26th, 2018I have spent today networking. I am steadily and actively pursuing potential jobs in the Victoria area. I am craving growth and a new working environment that allows me to fully engage with my skills in communication, research, and facilitation. The jobs I am most excited about are the ones that are oriented around projects that will involve teamwork and overall commitment to getting the job done, especially when they align with my values.
Today was the day of lazy networking. I'll be honest. I have started to realize the full benefit of Linkedin and have started to approach it with a more serious attitude. I seemingly update my account daily with the philosophy that things get better and better with time. I have started to add individuals I am interested in, share values with, and feel have the potential to open the door to a new career. I'll be setting up meetings and exploring options. I feel that the best avenue to a new job isn't electronic resumes but real-life connections. It is an exciting time. The process of creating this website and my linkedin profile has been one of active reflection. To begin searching I have found it helpful to know what I want and what I don't. For example, although I am capable of working on my own I prefer to work in teams and often produce better work in these types of environments. I love to read and often research obsessively into topics, and organizations I am interested in. I am an excellent communicator and know this because of the feedback I get from so many people. It surprises me seeing how I had strong introverted tendencies. Canvassing has helped shatter these tendencies, however, I have grown disinterested with the job. I have canvassed for over two years now. I took a long six month break and came back into the job. Since then work has been a struggle largely because I am looking for something new and I am no longer as enthusiastic as I once was. It isn't that I am jaded. I just feel underutilized in the position and see there is little room to grow in my current role. I want to be elsewhere, which makes it hard to be present. The job has perks in that I have ample free time. That free time is now extensively used for job hunting. I'll be honest in that I am easily distracted. My girlfriend said its one of my major weaknesses. My intellectual curiosities in other topics than job hunting can pull me away from what is necessary. I can jump between topics, but, actively focus on finishing books before getting new ones. I also know this is where my time management skills come into play. There isn't anything wrong with reading about my passions for an hour or two a day. I just need to make sure I am creating the time and space to apply for jobs, network, and explore options. There are a lot of prospective companies I would be excited to work for and I'm interested in the future conversations that will come from the job hunt. If you have a lead on something you think I'd be interested in shoot me a message. Whether it's a job, idea, or person(s). Thank you 2/21/2018 1 Comment February 21st, 2018Robin Gagne was planning to make over 20,000 dollars via the online market place. So, I'm sitting down out the kitchen table. I have a bowl, albeit not a large bowl, of coffee while I brew up ideas. The smell wafts up lazily as the coffee cools and I decide on what I will reflect on today. The past couple days I've been sick; queasy stomach that wants little to nothing to do with food, a slightly warm feeling, dull headache, and general body stiffness. The biggest annoyance? I can't work.
Canvassing is a job that favors the quick wit, a charming smile, and the personably persistent. Being sick favors the foggy mind, runny nose, and the persistently bed-ridden. They don't really go together and to be frank I probably shouldn't go door to door as the bearer of disease. Not that anyone would really know that I was the agent of the plague, and the not the wilderness committee. The only hit then falls on my bank account. Therefore, the call to action (I mean money) helps me innovate my behaviour. Lately, I've gotten into flipping items. I buy cheap and sell high because most things are found below market price. For example, I came across a thrift store clearance sale offering 75% off prices. I ended up buying two novelty mugs, and a lower end poker chip set for $5.25 total. As GaryVee taught me on youtube with his #2017FlipChallenge ebay has an option to view items as sold & completed. The option lets me see what people are willing to pay and how quickly things move. Take the novelty mugs. I picked them up for 1.25 each. One is for the reckless driver (golfing pun) and the other for the worldest greatest fisherman. Two big past times in Victoria. I'm confident someone will value these as a gift. The ebay hack tells me that these two mugs are valued at the 10 - 15 dollar range. So, when I sell at least one all my costs are covered. The pokerset is valued around the 15 - 20 dollar range and plays to the cheap gambler demographic. The mugs have the greater fluidity (greater medium of exchange: money has the highest fluidity) and can cover costs plus profit. I've found other valuable flip items as well. Victoria, BC cycles through used furniture like no tomorrow. Students who are in constant flux of moving dump their furniture on the side of roads. These items are then picked up by students, if the couch is to desperate looking, and used in home. For my roommate (who took the lead) and myself, we realized that we can sell the furniture online. We had over four years picked up a free pingpong table, leather recliner, work desks, among other items. We then sold these items for around 800 dollars (if memory serves). The biggest hurdle is more of the delivery. I am not Amazon and shipping stuff is usually quite expensive. Most people getting in contact with me for items aren't within Victoria, BC. They are outsiders, although, still from the island. If anyone knows how to ship things at a reasonable price let me know! It'll help expand my online shop and move the skeletons out of the closet. What's the biggest item you've ever sold? 2/8/2018 1 Comment February 08th, 2018Robin Gagne was reflecting on his job and why it sucked.
The sun is warm through the window. I opened both windows so a cool breeze can flap through the curtains. I figured it was going to be sunny today. Last night the air smelt cold and dry despite the clouds. I knew it wouldn't rain while I was working last night. Some of the best nights are when the wind is simply blowing. Everything seems alive and restless in an ironic twist as everything settles in to sleep. I've been struggling canvassing lately and it took me awhile to figure why. We moved into a new neighborhood known as Oak Bay. It's where the old money is in Victoria, upper middle class families and retired folk mostly live here. I remember canvassing them two years ago when I first started. People were very responsive and conversational. However, the tides have changed. Word got out of Oak Bay's wealth to other canvassing groups in Victoria. They've grown cold, impersonal, and irritated at the door. People complain that there seems to be a canvasser there every single night for this cause or that cause, or painters for College Pro-esque groups. I can feel the frustrations with the short interactions and disgruntled looks as I go neighbour to neighbour. That frustration can rub off on a canvasser. As I become frustrated the vicious cycle picks up and I feel like I'm helping digging the grave while tombstones materialize with the words "No Solicitors" scratched deeply. Normally, my patience, persistence, and determination lets me breakdown the walls between me and my community members. Lately, it wasn't the case. My problem might just be that the hardest part of canvassing isn't the sale. The difficulty lies in rejection. Usually, Victoria puts you down easy and Oak Bay is no longer like that. I completely understand that berated stance towards my interrupting knock and pitch. When both groups are irritated at the interaction, no one listens, no one cares. They just want it to end no matter how determined I am. It's funny though. It's funny because my patience and persistence pays off. When I'm challenged and failing having control over my attitude is important. I had one night where I recognize the emotional turmoil the response are putting me in. So, I stood and a park while semi-quietly repeating the word "fuck" while I kick and punch the air. (It's a good technique to get the negativity out.) I took asip from my thermos and go back in. I'll slip into the moment and things go a little smoother. Eventually, after 4 or 5 days I realize things aren't really working and I dive a little deeper into myself. Why? Why, why, why, why!? Turns out why we do things is really important and I had forgotten this. I originally came back to canvassing because I need money. Money is important however it's not a true sense of purpose. Money is a measurement, or feedback, as to how things are going. The measurement of that is important and when I'm struggling to get donations I become frustrated. Things aren't working when I focus on the money. So, I smoked a joint and brooded over it until I clued into what I just said. I then had to ask "Why am I actually doing this?" When I first started I became fascinated with my community. Canvassing is the only job I know that lets me go door-to-door and talk to people. My role is less of a fundraiser and more of a community-builder. The community I build then provides the funds for the organization and my role as a canvasser. When I remembered this my whole perspective changed and there were noticeable differences at the door. Oak Bay is in a vicious cycle and I can make it worse when I come in with the wrong intentions. Oak Bay suffers because they are getting a massive quantity of canvassers at the door; what I provide is a quality conversation. I'm looking to flip the downward spiral into a virtuous one. I remind people that I'm here with a local charity with campaigns in our backyard, which means we are relevant. We are also reliant on our community and it's my job to have the face-to-face conversations that improve, strengthen, and grow the community that supports our efforts. I can understand the frustration. However, it's when I decide to adopt that attitude that it becomes the problem. When I focus on my passion of community-building my positive attitude supersedes the negative and I flip the process. Otherwise, the community falls into decay and the personality of the neighborhoods become jaded, we lose support, we lose the ability to gain new support, and our fundraising collapses in the area, the canvassers lose their moral, and we go home feeling defeated. Or, as a canvasser we realize that there is two very important measures of success. One is money. We need funds. Two is the sense of connection, which is arguably more important and leads to more money. 2/6/2018 1 Comment February 06th, 2018Robin Gagne is having a quarter life crisis and is wondering how to change his life.
Today the clouds are as grey as the concrete surrounding my house. Normally, people would be walking by but I guess on a cold February morning everyone's tucked inside. For myself I'm sipping on my cup of coffee, black, and ignoring my morning hunger. These types of moods come to me when I'm looking to write. They stifle down the body's needs of being fed and can have the side effect of not actually eating anything until late in the afternoon. I know it's not the healthiest way to approach the day. It's one of the reasons I do routines (or try to most days) because it forces me to take care of my body before the flow of words comes about. As to why? Well, my mind has been steeping on a particular question: What are the conditions for change? I'm going to go through these six conditions for change.
I'm curious into the conditions of change as an environmentalist and social scientist. So, I'll explain these conditions below within an environmental context. When it comes to potential for change people fall into three categories open/arrested/closed. I'll ask myself: "am I open-minded and contemplative with a willingness to overcome barriers?" or "am I arrested and resistant with a mentality that "it is what it is"; stressed out that my life conditions might change?" or "close-minded and rigid to any idea that there is a need for change?" In Victoria, BC we are pretty open-minded and there are already life-style changes taken place. People bike a lot and most are open to the idea of more biking lanes. There are of course demographics resistant to the idea annoyed that cars no longer get priority and the people who out-right hate the idea and think it's stupid. C'est la vie. If I'm open to change, or even resistant, there's potential that I will adopt solutions. Typically people are aware of the "drive less, turn off the lights, and recycle your plastics" campaigns that reflect the status quo. These types of solutions were easy for my father to adopt who took pride in reprehending me for leaving the lights on. It's easy to adopt because it fits well into our culture of capitalist consumerism, which responds to costs (you save money on energy and help the economy). "We aren't paying to heat the outdoors" mentality. These solutions also fit into the individualistic nature of our culture and gives us a tangible thing to "play our part". The traditional campaigns, we now know, are not enough as change needs to be more fundamental. When the solutions that reflect the status quo don't work we experience dissonance. Dissonance is a lack of harmony, which is a gap between the current context and solution that our traditional management techniques fail to address. It calls for change on a more fundamental level. A redesign of our current system. These can be changes in our cultural values, and lifestyles. However, I feel addressing the barrier of fossil fuels will help highlight how dissonance leads to fundemental change in our energy system. One of the largest barriers to change is fossil fuels. Currently, the world gets 81% of its energy needs from fossil fuels (cite). It is the barrier we are most familiar with and is the main root of the West Coast environmentalist's hype when it comes to projects like Kinder Morgan. Addressing barriers require four (generalized) avenues: elimination, re-framing the problem, neutralizing, and by-passing. Traditional environmentalists call for the elimination of fossil fuels, and things like the Tar Sands. So, they neutralize developmental projects (pipelines) that would expand fossil fuel use. They also compete for the narrative of fossil fuels being bad for the environment versus the industries narrative of good for the economy. Both are trying to frame the problem. Finally, we have the Elon Musk approach that is allowing us to by-pass the problem all together by widely adopting solar panels, electric vehicles, and innovations in the necessary battery components. These for ways of addressing barriers all make way for systemic change in our energy system. To properly address barriers, and to successfully change, we need insight. An understanding of what went wrong and the resources available to us to handle these problems. If we understand that fossil fuels is one of the things that went wrong; we can then focus on the resources and management techniques available to us. It reminds me of the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses, and all the kings men Couldn't put Humpty together again I've read that Humpty Dumpty is a metaphor for society and reminds me of concepts like the fiscal cliff. A warning that society can fall and that despite all of our resources (horses), and all of our managers (kings men). We won't be able to put society together again if it falls. Hence the growing sense of urgency. I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. Insight is a generator of knowledge that allows us to act on issues by fully utilizing our resources and managers. To gain knowledge society needs to willing consolidate solutions with a supportive culture. A willingness to experiment, refine, make mistakes, and ultimately move forward on fundamental changes like changing our energy system. This comes with the open-minded (early adopters) of new technology that shows those resistant change that its possible. Change is always uncertain. I'm okay with that because I know there are solutions and that "change is the only constant". Society needs to adapt and overcome barriers to evolve into a new way of being, or else fall of the wall because of ecological collapse. With it will come exciting new insights to life in general and an opportunity to collectively come together globally as we enter into a new era. Thank you Dan Edward Beck and Christopher C. Cowan. (1996). Spiral Dynamics: Mastering Values, Leadership, and Change "Chapter 4: Change and the spiral". Blackwell Publishing. 2/5/2018 1 Comment February 05th, 2018Robin Gagne's blog, thoughts, and angry ramblings.
Every good routine comes to an end. Or, so I've learned over the course of my life. When I first came back to Victoria at the start of January I was getting up at 630am, was consistently writing, doing yoga, and meditating. However, getting a job with the Wilderness Committee switched it up. Instead of waking up early I wake up late(r) - 9/930 - because I go to bed that much later. How I see the day changes based on the time I get up at. I find waking up later makes me see the day as shorter and more rushed. It makes me feel like I have less time to do things. So I slashed yoga and meditating. I'm now bringing it back in. It just means starting everything later, which is fine. I just know my productivity goes down once the sun is down. Part of the lesson I guess is patience. Work is obviously I priority my well-being directly impacts my pay (I'm paid on a system similar to commission). The days where I'm not sleeping well, or enough, means I show up tired. I drink coffee at three and end up tossing and turning through the night. And, thus the cycle doth continue. I am excited about pursuing other jobs. The process feels easier now that I have a part-time job as my foundation and have some money coming in. I've also picked up another part-time canvassing gig with College Pro for my buddy's franchise. Going door-to-door with them is surprisingly easier. The pitch is very concise and simple with yes/no questions and an ear for misunderstandings or later projects. It's even more of a numbers game than environmental canvassing and has a more rushed culture of moving through things quickly. I guess that's business. I like learning new jobs and businesses because they are novel, dynamic, and involve new people. Lately I have been getting a lot more clear on my sense of purpose and value. I am a firm believer that creative solutions and good decision-making comes from diverse perspectives. The way I achieve this is through honest conversation with others and having a well-rounded point of view. Currently, I just happen to go door-to-door for the Wilderness Committee. I am interested in the inter-disciplinary nature of researching and communicating for things, like urban planning, economic development, and other broad-based decision-making processes. My true passion is ensuring my community has the capacity to make good decisions while adapting and considering its environmental and social responsibilities. We do this by taking an honest look at where we are, understand the viewpoints of others, and know the resources available to us. In my last year of school at the University of Victoria I started a university club called Forever Green Dialogues (FGD) based on these principles. I'm now actively pursuing a career down that path and love that family (my mom) is constantly forwarding me job opportunities. I can tell she is constantly looking out for me. I have also come across a few other leads from networking as well. I'm keeping the names under wraps as I find that it's more exciting to tell people about things that actually come to be, instead of the potential of an outcome that is largely out of my control. The exception to that rule is my girlfriend and family. They deserve the transparency and I'm sure it helps ease the stress of my parents who are aware of how close I live to the poverty line. That makes me want to reflect on two things that have been bothering me. First, the fucking housing crisis. It blows my mind that the IMF warned Canada back in 2015 about its heated housing market. We even talked about it in my university class. They then twiddled their thumbs until they managed to help kickstart a vicious cycle, which is hollowing out the middle-class and pushing more people into a state of homelessness. It's utterly disgusting. I remember house hunting a year and a half ago. We watched the rent climb up 150 dollars a room over the span of a month here in Victoria. I had friends who couldn't find a place to live requiring them to sleep on couches for an entire semester and go on co-ops because couches suck. Who would have ever guessed the government had our interest in mind? Then the Liberals walk in and slap on a 15% tax doing to much to late. Plus, the rich foriegners and new homeowners are laughing because they've already made their money. It's infuriating. Second, is the Site C decision from Premier Horgan. It's not that I'm anti-development. I understand the importance of the economy and the importance of a healthy environment. I'm currently working on blending them together so we can worry about the next apocalypse. What frustrates me was his reasoning. "If we cancel the project it will cost four billion dollars and will have to pay higher rates without the capital project." However, he leaves out that the completed project will cost at minimum 12 billion dollars and we will have to pay higher rates. The true purpose of the project (confirmed by Andrew Weaver on CBC) is that BC Hydro has contracts with our northern fracking industry that offers them subsidized rates. Those subsidized rates are paid by us in an undemocratic act of economic coercion. I know complaining about politicians is cliché. However, I expect everyone in my life to speak honestly about their intentions. Sure democracy is all about compromising. "If everyone is frustrated you know democracy is working". Yet, it's the ill-informed, fact-leaving tendencies that make me doubt our upcoming referendum for electoral change will go through. Garunteed if people understood the difference between first-past-the-post (our current system), mixed member plurality, and other proportional representation systems it would be a no brainer. I do understand that most people haven't studied Political Science. If I still have my notebook I'll write an article about why our entire class chose Mixed Member Plurality. In short, it keeps our first-past-the-post system (that represents our local ridings) and adds a second vote where we can choose from parties. So, if your local candidate is a good leader for your area you can vote for him. Then you an additional vote for your preferred party's platform, which may or may not be the same party as your local candidate. The result is you have a parliament that better reflects the values of the province. You reduce the chances of a majority party steamrolling through with bans on science like the Harper government, and promote compromise (the whole point of democracy). There are of course costs and benefits to any system. So, do your own research and see if you come to the same opinion that we need change. Thank you |
AuthorRobin Roger Gagne is a freelance writer, web designer, and SEO wizard. Archives
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