1/28/2018 1 Comment January 28th, 2018Today, Robin Gagne has been reflecting on the Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki.
The book is for anyone starting anything. It's one of those larger print, wide-spacing books, that's read with a quick pace. Their designed to put in a bunch of tidbit knowledge with experience in hopes that the reader takes something away. I first noticed the book on my friend's roommate's bookshelf. After reading the back of the book I checked it out of the library the very next day. The basic take away to starting things is simple. Just start doing it. Many projects die because they lack the momentum to actually take off. It's the problem of "thinking to much" that stalls out action. The art of the start is just doing it and refining as you go. No product is perfect at the start. Every project gets better as it goes; it may still fail; but in the wise words of Wayne "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take". My approach to creating anything is mildly frustrating yet exciting. I start off with big picture things. I often see the full mechanics, processes, and feedbacks of the system I am trying to integrate into. I begin to see where I can prop up, support, and leverage different components. Over time, the process of my development becomes more and more refined as I understand the whole picture and problem while coming to a simplified solution. Once I've touch the simplicity of the seed I immediately plant it and tend to the growth. When I was president of Forever Green Dialogues the above was our basic process to development. We dove into the values, experiences, and processes of the university and began to understand the problem. The problem for UVIC is that they lack community. This problem results in low turn outs for extra-curricular activities, lower revenue for food services, felicitas and events, and a lower quality university experience. For those who have gone there recently you'll notice they now have Vikes Nation branded on everything. The university has identified the same problem and their solution is to emulate American athletics in hopes to unify the community around sports. Forever Green Dialogues disagreed with the universities decision. We believed that conversational formats were more fitting for the university's culture. The campus lacks a lounge, for example, where students can take a break from studies to simply hang out. I identified the Vertigo Lounge as a place to influence change in the system. Vertigo lounge is more of a cafeteria in the Student Union Building and the booths are often filled with people studying. We decided to host our events here once a month (until we got more organized). By hosting events in the Vertigo Lounge we knew we could easily advertise to students and attract members. In the first event we acquired two new members because of the open door policy. When you book an event in Vertigo security clears the room out and locks the door. So, when I showed up to start the event I would leave the doors wide open after a few members came in. This way students would trickle back into the booths, which are feedback loops that bring students into the area. Once the time comes to start the event I would grab everyone's attention. I would address those studying and let them know what the event was with the permission that they could stay. The goal is to frequent the Vertigo Lounge enough that Forever Green Dialogues becomes well-known as a function of the lounge. People can learn to expect us. Eventually, it would give us influence over the room. We could start lobbying UVSS to make changes to the Vertigo Lounge to help make it feel like a lounge, opposed to a cafeteria. The vision was to have a place where students can come lounge, converse, and experience lightly-structured events on a frequent basis. The first semester was exciting as the club grew. However, like most university clubs leadership graduates and makes maintaining the club difficult. I'll spend some time later on going over my old journal and put up the reflections. It's been awhile since I've sat and reflected on it. I enjoyed it a lot and crave to bring something like that back into my life. The art of the start is my mentality with this website. I originally made it because I knew I needed one. The intention and purpose has evolved as months tick by resulting in changed designs and changed approaches to content creation. My blog has become my journal entry. The purpose is consistent content creation for the website by utilizing the reflections I do everyday anyways. I'm sure the content here will change as well.
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1/27/2018 1 Comment January 27th, 2018Today, was a slower day for Robin Gagne.
I'll blame the 6 dollar wine. Taking a day off life is good though. I need at least one day dedicated to doing nothing. I used to plan my Sundays around that intention. I would take my camera and take photos of what I found interesting. I noticed that Victoria had a lot of pavement graffiti where some one would scratch words, and symbols into sidewalks. Or, I would pay attention to spray paint tags and notice them repeated throughout certain areas. Today, was that nothing day. I stayed inside for the most of the time. I woke up late and laid in bed talking about to Brooklyn about the dreams we'v'e had. They're always corky. I had one where our living room was filled with stools. I think it was about my roommate. She plays her violin on a stool in front of the fireplace. I've been meaning to take a picture of it. After we got out of bed Brooklyn was cleaning Celestial Float while I read a few chapters of my book Inheritance while sipping a coffee. The slow days aren't filled with much action. We did make it out to Arbutus Cove. Brooklyn had never gone and it's my favorite beach. Relatively quiet, out of the wind, and has no sand lice in the summer. We go skim boarding their when the tide is lowest enough. What more could you want from a beach? Now that I'm home I have the house to myself. The fireplace is going and the nothing day has turned into pure comfort. I watched an old classmate on Facebook live play guitar and sing. Surprisingly good. I'm going to be redesigning the website over the next couple days. Any tips? I'll be keeping the front page simple and action-oriented while I upload a cover letter and resume. I'm planning on remaking it with employers in mind. I'm still looking for that second job or some volunteering. But, I'm only just starting to feel settled with a job and routine coming in. I'm planning on going to UVIC every Friday to study, and network. I found out that there is drop in soccer on Friday's at UVIC. I've been looking for a league to play in as I work Monday through Thursday evenings. Stoked. Also found out that I get a free coffee with a Friday newspaper. Pretty happy with the perks to be honest. I'm considering doing some research into professors and networking with them to see what's going on the community. My friend Octavio made a good point that they tend to be the keystones in their fields. I hope I connect with some interesting cats. 1/24/2018 2 Comments January 24th, 2018Robin Gagne started his new job yesterday with the Wilderness Committee.
I am now a canvasser with the Wilderness Committee, which is a long-standing environmental organization that started in the 1980's. I have already had close to two years of canvassing experience with the Ancient Forest Alliance. Canvassing is a tough job only because you face a lot of rejection, especially at the start. It isn't as dramatic as Hollywood makes it seem although I have had people threaten to throw me off their porch (he was in his underwear). The job is pretty ridiculous once you accept rejection. I enjoy the hunt. People give a lot of excuses and there are hooks to these excuses. I can watch the frustration of certain types build as they realize their not-so-clever excuse is spun against. I'll give you a pro-tip if you don't want to deal with a canvasser. Say "no thank you" and close the door. A good canvasser will just move on and because it's largely a numbers game you really don't matter that much. If I get anything but a hard no I'll continue fishing. It's funny. It's funny because most people seemingly care about environmental groups like the Wilderness Committee and Ancient Forest Alliance. However, once money is brought into question I watch eye's get wide as food appears on the burner (can you smell it?), people suddenly want to read a brochure, or they ask if websites exist. These are all soft no's. I can tell when people are worth the chase once the excuses start coming in. I've learned to hustle over the years (I worked on commission; every dollar counts). Verbally agreeing that environmental groups are important and then not supporting without a legitimate reason is the sort of weak-kneed, apathetic, droll that infuriates new canvassers to the point of quitting. If the group accepts one-time donations (and most don't: Plan B, RedCross, Etc) you can handle five dollars at minimum. I've watched canvassers deteriorate over time. "I had someone who agreed with everything that we do; but I couldn't get them to donate." It's rough having your idealism removed like fingernails on a chalkboard. The point is to persist. Generally, speaking if I hold out for one more week the cycle breaks, an evolution happens, and I reach a new height in donations. Now I'm at the point where I work 20 hours a week, cover my bills, and have lots of free time to read, which I am extremely grateful. Like any challenge I encourage people to persist. Getting back into canvassing this go around was pretty easy. I shadowed someone and given the fact that no one was home only saw him canvass a previous donor (and famous ethnobotanist) for 100$. When I left I had only an hour and a half (we are usually knocking for three hours). I managed to get three small one-time donations and a 10$/monthly. The main selling point for the monthly was that British Columbia doesn't have a endangered species legislation, which I find incredibly surprising. The Wilderness Committee is working on creating this legal tool for protection of our 1900 endangered species here in British Columbia. I also felt very authentic and that's important. People pick up on the fake, people-please, self-degrading attempt of getting donations. It works; but not as well as an authentic interest in getting people involved. Another key component is listening to myself (and by extension the other person). I learned this in a workshop called the Art of Conversation. We tend to speak without listening to the other person, or ourselves. Yet, we can tune in our awareness to the inflection of our voice, take care in the words we speak, and slow the fuck down so we come across down-to-earth. I enjoy canvassing because techniques like this and my pre-knock ritual put me into a meditative state of mind, most of the time. I'm able to move, quite deftly, through conversation while staying focused on the primary objective of getting a donation (the secondary is educational but the organization has more influence than I do at the door). When I listen to myself I can speak with clear intention, inflection, and understanding. It lets me pay attention to what you aren't saying, and my approach. I might as well ask (otherwise the questions no). You can make a donation by visiting Wilderness Committee, or the Ancient Forest Alliance. If you donat leave a comment of "Robin's Blog". It'll help the organization and myself, which by extensions benefits you through a healthier environment. Thank you. 1/22/2018 2 Comments January 22nd, 2018Robin Gagne went for a float in a sensory deprivation tank. A sensory deprivation tank is exactly what it sound like. The point is to deprive you have sight, sound, temperature, and gravity (I think). The process will relinquish the energy needed to process inputs and regulate body tempature allowing for energy to be relinquished and used for other things, like healing from a long a run. Luckily, my girlfriend has a business called Celestial Float that she runs out of the detached suite o our house. You can give it a try by signing up through facebook. Or, message me and I can set you up. I used it today because my head has been in a storm. I've been learning lots about cryptocurrency, stocks, environmental philosophy, the wilderness committee (new job: canvassing), and looking into other career options while thinking up schemes for new careers. I feel scattered to the wind and unfocused on whatever it is actually want. That which I want is less of known and more of a feeling, which makes it hard to explain. I usually meditate daily for half an hour every morning. Yet, like any routine it fluctuates and collapses as I fall out of practice. Meditation is something that I want in my life though. I know because it feels good, really good. The inward journey is a fascinating one. My journey has been stilling my mind, which tends to be over-active as I get wound up over ideas, learnings, and the like. Currently, I am wound up and feeling the tension while being doubly distracted from doing what I should be doing, even though I don't know what it is I am actually doing or what I should be doing. It isn't until I am doing something that I realize that I should be doing it or not and even at that point I may realize I should be doing something but won't. Confusing. Meditating lets me prune my thoughts. I sit and focus on my breath, which is what I should be doing. Not so much breathing, but, focusing. However, my mind forgets that and does something which I should not be doing, which is thinking. It's not to say that thinking should not be done as thinking is very important. But, to over think a problem is the problem. So, I think therefor I am. I am what? I am thinking. Strange. So, I come back to my breath. Another thought careens through and I am carried away back to my breath. The cycle continues. Breathe then think; think then breathe. As each cycle goes through it's process thoughts are dropped. While I am in the tank I go through the numerous thoughts and ideas closing the loops until I fall asleep. I don't always fall asleep. Today, I guess sleep was needed. Now I am on the other side and I am feeling relaxed. The thoughts that were once assailing my mind are gone and I can focus on that which I was supposed to be doing previously. I take a deep breath. I am grateful for this blog. It allows me to externalize the internalized in a way that quiets my head. Writing is important for that, or conversation, or running, or meditation. They all let me process, integrate, and/or drop that which I am learning and doing. It gives me time to reflect and bring to light my distracted mind. The whole point of anything for me is to focus in what I am doing. I can't focus when I think to much. I lose track and fall off the path. Not that there are any foot prints before me. Just open sky. I'm reminded of something that I forgot. I said it often for awhile. "I want to use my heart as my compass and my mind the map". I move towards what feels good, and is quality, for me. My mind simply gets me there. And, then I die. Not to say that in a way that makes life seem futile. I think thinking about death once in awhile makes me very much alive. Anyways, I'm going for some beers with friends to talk about cryptocurrency. We have a buddy who works for Coinbase and was into cryptocurrency four years ago when we all first moved in together. I'm excited to hear what he says. 1/21/2018 1 Comment January 21st, 2018 Robin Gagne is learning to self-manage his investments.
I met a friend of a roommate today. She shoots and edits videos for not-for-profits. Something I considered doing after making this video. I had make the video for a class called Working in the Community. It was a lot of fun to make. I considered possibly making videos for other NPO I would a director to narrate the purpose, instead of myself. I would then rip apart related news items and stitch it together for a short promotional video. Her existence lets me know that the idea is viable. The thing is that is so many paths in today's era. Reflecting on my journal I realize that I have a lot opportunities before me. The difficulty is choosing and committing to them. I suppose part of this is that I am an unbounded university graduate. I manage to graduate with no debt (thanks to working at WestPine MDF for two years, and my parents). I am extremelly grateful for this. It lets me be non-committal as I continue to learn skills. I'm constantly practicing marketing skills, writing, and research via this website. I am also looking to publish and article with Concrete Garden. The main motivation is to monetize my learning. I love to read and writing is how I process. Writing is my tool of exploration and self-reflection on what I learn about topics I find interesting. Whether its environmental philosophy in response to climate concerns, or self-managing my investments. When I graduated I actually ended up being net positive thanks to my RRSPs. I have now decided to self-manage them (for better or for worse). Largely, I am interested in the weed industry, as I think given the legalization process moving forward this summer, will give me larger returns than mutual funds. In fact, I read that pairing it to the S&P500 I would be more likely to out perform mutual funds. Certain weed companies and the pressure for market concentration means that probability of success is more likely. I just have to be well-researched. Easier said then done. Diving into investment is learning a brand new field for me. I start from zero understanding except for economic theory from a few university classes. Finance it turns out involves their own quarks like bears and bulls. At the same time I just put some money into the crypto-game. Here, I also feel over-whelmed in the learning process. It's confusing. Confusing is a good thing though because breeds curiosity as I want to understand it. Here is what I learned today. Cryptocurrencies are different than bitcoin. Bitcoin was the first; it will not be the last. There are currently 1000s of coins and most of them are garbage. Coins today are attached to particular movements. They are more of a pre-investment for ideas, platforms, and the like. The logic goes like this: (borrowed from a now closed tab) I am a programmer interested in gaming. So, I want to create a platform that hosts multiple games made by other programmers that are then sold to customers. However, the success of the platform depends on a feedback cycle. That feedback cycle is that I need games for customers and I need customers so programmers will make the game. At the starting point I have neither. So, I create GAME coin. It starts off at a certain price and after an initial coin offering (ICO), where people buy it at a fixed rate. I view it as a crowdfunding process for the platform itself. The goal is to raise money to make the platform itself. Instead of having to buy coins with Canadian dollars you buy it with GAME dollars. The logic is that the customers (or at least a portion of them) are gamers with an interest in playing games. Seeing as the gamers bought GAME dollars they also have a monetary investment to ensure your vision manifests. They become the participants that require you getting programmers who instead of getting paid in CAN$ they get paid in GAME$. Now they also have an incentive too see the success of your platform. As my success grows it grows the value of the coin and everybody wins. If my platforms fail the coin deflates and everybody loses. In the long rung anyways. Short-term ICOs seem like a sure bet if you dodge scams. They are bound to go up with the excitement. But, I don't really know because the topic is ginormous. This is only my first day learning the subject though. Currently it seems vast. Luckily, I already know what a block chain is and how they work. What I am interested in is a certain term. They call coins and networks ecosystems. There is a new philosophy arising today called Systems Theory, which is rooted in the deep ecology philosophy. It is considered a new paradigm and is seemingly pushing out the new. Even Barack Obama talked about it in his interview with Wired. The pool of culture is a mixed ecosystem of value sets, outlook, and intent interacting with one another. The patterns we find in natural systems are the same patterns in other systems in the way they interact, grow, collapse, and reorganize themselves. I find the topic fascinating and want to look more into it within the financial lens of life. 1/19/2018 0 Comments January 19th, 2018Robin Gagne spent most of his day in the library.
I graduated school in April 2017. However, the library still calls to me periodically. I suppose I've fully associated it with studying materials and I meet a lot of my friends on campus. Today, I met with the ancient forest committee. My friend Octavio runs the club (I ran it last year). I joined them on their weekly walk through Mystic Vale. They are avid birdwatchers and were on the hunt for some raptors. We didn't see any among the English Ivy (invasive) laden tree's; only a pile of feathers was found. Octavio and I had tea afterwards in the Bibliocafe. I have an event idea that I would like to manifest. I am strong believer that creativity comes from diverse perspectives. So, I want to host a cafe-styled public conversation on the identities of the forest. In social sciences it's called intersectionality. For example, Robin Gagne is at the intersection of being white, male, educated, and young, among others. A forest can have an intersection of spiritualism, recreation, tourism, forestry, and environmentalism, to name a few. These identities also represent our behavior and interaction with the forest, and our environments generally. I would like to explore this topic with 15 to 20 people and see it as an oppurtunity to expand the perspective in qualitative transformations with forest-lands. Basically, I want a revolution that comes without extreme violence and changes the ecology, or relationships, of our working economy. I guess I'm still idealized. Octavio pointed me to a ecology@uvic who host weekly talks. I'm going to network in with them and if there's space to host an event with them. It's important to have an audience and networking with established functions is important. I also told him how I am interested in research, communications, and project development. Octavio recommended I get in touch with professors and volunteer my time with them. I think it's a great idea. They often need assistants to help with their projects, or know people, like grad students, who also need help. I told him I was debating pitching a research position to the Ancient Forest Alliance and apply for my own funding. He passed on a resource through eco-canada that can grant up to 15,000$ if the NPO matches the funds. I could then work for them full time as a researcher, which I think would be dope. I was telling my roommate about my frustrations with jobs and the like. She told me I was impatient. I hastily agree to that point. I've only been back in Victoria for not even two-weeks. I have just got a canvassing job with the Wilderness Committee and only just finished unpacking my things thanks to my dad. I'm barely settled and raring to go. It'll all unfold as I go. I only need to keep my gumption levels high. Today, I also worked on the metabolic rift article. I've come across a prominent scholor names Jason W. Moore who writes extensively on Marx's ecology, and the global ecology movement. There's a common philosophy that humans are part of nature, I think we can agree to that. However, that rarely translates into an analytical methodology that reflects that. Moore pushes a dialectal, or as I understand it a relational, analytic of mutual influence. Very simply, as humans change nature (Anthropocene); nature then forces us to change. The strategic relationships within our ecology, or economy, then changes resulting in social and ecological changes. In another essay Moore states "every species, not only the human species, is at every moment constructing and destroying the world it inhabits." We are therefor facing an ecological transformation, which is part of cyclical process that brought about capitalism. Capitalism is a historically rooted ecology that is a quantitative-building worldview that experienced qualitative transformations, known as revolutions. These transformations permutate through social and ecological systems changing the strategic relationships within, without, and between society and nature. 1/18/2018 0 Comments January 18th, 2018 Robin Gagne spent most of his day unpacking.
I am grateful for my father. He drove down from Quesnel to drop off my stuff. I don't like the idea of leaving things in my parents crawlspace. I feel like I need to take responsibility for my possessions. So, I'm selling most of it. I spent the majority of my time today unpacking, organizing, and taking pictures. However, I want to focus on what I'm truly grateful for: family. The fact my dad drove twelve hours for a short visit is amazing. I'm glad our relationship has hit the friendship stage. The father & son relationship tends to involve butting heads. We've moved passed that and I enjoy our time together more now than before. I played two sessions of squash with him. Surprisingly, he schooled me and I'm not afraid to admit it. My first time playing and it takes time to learn all the sweet spots and general tactics. Squash is a sport with a good steady type of exercise. Brooklyn came to dinner with us at Rebar. They got along well, which was no surprise. They both have a good sense of humor. I feel the process of meeting family will be easier for her than it was for me. I dove into a two week trip in Costa Rica sleeping on the couch in a condo shared with her mother, grandmother, uncle, auntie, little cousin, brother, and his fiance. There were no problems with that set up. For nine people we managed to get through easy enough. So, I'm sure she was less intimidated by the prospects. Bowron Lake Chains is now a possiblity. I have done the chain once before when I was in high school. It was four dads, and their sons. We spent a week out in the wilderness. The weather was amazing and I hope good weather comes with the upcoming trip as well. Brooklyn is interested in going and my dad is trying to convince her to take her mom. I would find that hilarious. For some reason having Brooklyn's mom on the trip seems comical. My dad is very family oriented. He see's the importance of keeping everyone together. For two years part of my dad's 11 sibling family would come together for tough mudder. It was good way to get everyone together. To bad the event is a huge fucking cash cow. We are looking for something else now. Do you have any ideas? My sister Jessica does a good job at staying in touch. I should be more proactive. I was in the habit of talking to the parents every Sunday. I should choose a day for my two sisters. This reminds me. My grandma sent me a Christmas card that I got today in the mail. I need to reply to her and want to print off some pictures of the Costa Rica trip. She's getting old and I want to spend more time with her. However, life is busy and we are all spaced out. It's hard to keep in touch with friends and family that aren't in my immediate proximity. The ones that I do are usually because I need their advice on something. When I work through problems I like to talk with people that have studied. For example, my friend Ian really understands business and marketing. I should give him a call. Thank you 1/17/2018 1 Comment January 17th, 2018Robin Gagne woke up this morning wanting to write. He wasn't sure exactly on what. However, a shallow sleep left his mind churning on a single work: integration. So, that's my starting point today. A conversation last night about concussions triggered this train of thought. My roommate had a friend over who suffered a concussion back in November, my other roommate gotten one not even a week ago, and I had one in September 2016. The experience is fairly rattling. However, what caught my attention was her explaining certain differences. She was experiencing a lapse in thinking, letting her run more off of intuition. I have taken the myers briggs personality test and fluctuate between an ENTP, and INTP. I have tendency to go through introverted stretches and extroverted stretches with a larger slant towards introversion. The difference between a ENTP and ENFP I'm sure is complex. The highlighted letters correspond to thinking and feeling respectively. Thinking means the individual makes decisions largely, but not always, through logic. Feeling means the individual makes decisions largely, but not always, through what feels right. Suffering a concussion can, among many other things, impact the cognitive functions of the brain. So, this friend of roommate said she has spent more time running off of intuition. Intuition is a gut feeling or some other feeling that is part of our decision-making process. Her shift is different as she said that originally she thought a lot about what she was going to do. She admits that there was more anxiety before the new decision making process came about. The decisions still seem to be the correct decisions and it doesn't seem to be negatively impacting her. I too from my concussions noticed changes in how my psyche processes things. For one, I am noticeably more aware of my exterior surrounding as I get stuck in thoughts less. Now I can't attribute this solely to my concussion. I have spent a lot of time meditating and experienced something unique back in november. Roughly three months after my concussion. I was reading a chapter of a book called Greening the Self by Joanna Macy. She was explaining an alternative view of consciousness that limits it not to my body but to a series of feedback loops. The explanation came at a time when I was already exploring a new worldview. An example is the sun. We tend to draw the boundary in what we can psychically see is a sphere. The process is predominately visual. However, if we were to define it by it's touch. The sun's reach is much further. If our worldview, paradigm, or mode of conscious differs the world seemingly changes around me. I will bring it back to the original string of thought. Thinking and feeling are obviously two different things. However, there are overlaps as they are both part of the decision-making process. For example, I'll have a situation where I need to make a serious decision that also isn't immediate. There might be an immediate emotional response to do one thing or another. I can choose the outcome by deciding on what feels best, which is important. However, I can also think out logically the different problems, opportunities, benefits, and costs to each possible decision. I'll often do this as I meditate. Each choice comes about as a string of words, and images as I explore one option, then I'll do it for the next, and the next, while still weighing in my emotions and asking my heart what to do. If I logically come to a conclusion and my heart agrees then a string of words and images often appears as the final decision. What happens when I reflect on my thought process is an integration that brings in everything I explored into a singularity. I become path dependent as the potential of each collapses or integrates, into a single outcome. When I was concussed, and as my new friend is experiencing, is an absence of the "logician". The logician is our rational way of exploring new fields of knowledge. It is what I am doing now. My writing is slower and deliberate as I try to ensure I maintain a singular path of exploration, while highlighting the possibility of other paths. The train of thought as you will must not make quantum leaps onto other railways. Logic is what builds bureaucracies, machines, and philosophies, among other things. Logic is a linear concept that is built on a hierarchy of compartants, which comprise a larger whole. They separate out different components or parts in a way to explain, create, or influence the experience of life. The logician is skilled with a metaphorical knife that fillets the experience before piecing back together. How we integrate these parts I would argue is based off of our intuition. I can break down my decision-making process logically into a cost/benefit analysis. However, at the end of the day it seems I am just giving my intuition better judgement of the situation. The process of integration creates the subjective experience we each uniquely experience. Robert Pirsig explains this as being the one dimensional plane immediately in front of train. The intuitive type, or romantic, feels the wind rushing past, is relatively aware of all the parts and makes decisions in the moment. Unlike the logician who is aware of all the components, goes through possibilities of the future and is aware of the past, the intuition makes the decision in the moment. I am having difficulties maintaining this train of thought. It's relatively novel to me. So instead I'll write shortly on what I am doing currently. I am sitting in the Pacific Union coffee shop in Victoria, BC. I am sitting at a window with six large panes and black borders. People have been walking by, largely by themselves. Most of them seem to be in a rush. There's something satisfying about staring out a window. It's like a TV show with no plot line and no understanding of the characters. Yet, it is highly dynamic with constant motion, especially as the wind stirs the small shrub in the lower right corner of the window. I wonder how many people have destinations in mind? At this time of day (12:38pm) I'm sure not many people are simply wandering and wondering. Wednesday afternoons are more for work then for play. My awareness shifts to the potential readers of this blog. I wonder in what context you'll be reading this? The statistics for my website tell me 90% of my traffic is on mobile. However, I doubt many of you read this while you are mobile unless you are sitting on a bus. Can we run a little experiment for those that have come this far? Could you leave a short description of where you are? I'm interested. I'm going to change my angle of attack. Instead of a train I want the analogy to be that of a car. A car seems to fit me better. Rarely, does my approach of exploration come in the form of a railway that tries to stay as flat and straight as possible. A car makes many turns in the city as I try to approach my destination of new understanding. It explains why I veer off on a tangent, as it is usually an unforseen detour onto a new street, than a leap between tracks. A logical approach to driving is to first have in mind a destination. I want to get from point A to point B. Thus, we have the straight line as the most efficient means of arrival. However, life has obstacles and hurdles to which we must veer around or else end up stuck, dead, or bored. The logician like information. If he is well equipped he knows the many routes, lights, detours, and the like resulting in making the best choice. For example, google maps often replaces our logician. Google knows the traffic patterns, distance, and roads, which it then makes the most efficient, speediest route to get us to where we want to go, often also giving us less preferred options that may be minutes longer. Google maps weighs the options and then creates a path for us as our logician. However, Google is logical and absent of our uniquely subjective experience. The path may be the most efficient, however, maybe it isn't the most beautiful. Or, it doesn't know that stop lights are annoying and there is a path that allows for more consistent movement. Or, maybe we aren't in a hurry and want to enjoy the journey. Here it would seem that my intuition may not always favor the most efficient decision. My subjective intuitive self is more interested in the experience. It craves, I argue, a quality experience. In some cases, yes, efficiency is best. In other cases, no, I want to wander through the gardens, be in awe of the architecture, and travel through quieter roads. My intuition is considering more inputs. With an ENTP or ENFP split, a concussion, or consciousness shift, we notice the difference in experience. Logically, I can split my self into a ENTP or ENFP based on how I process problems and come to decisions. I can notice the influence of a concussions and fret over the difference in experience as if it is better, worse, or the same. I can also explore new worldviews and separate out how behavior and functions change in the "new age" of being. Thinking lets me reflect on the past, project the future, and break it all into parts by logic. Feeling allows me to experience the moment and make decisions on what my intuitions feels is best. One makes decisions on past and future experiences, one makes decisions in the current experience. The best decisions integrate both and help to impact the quality of my experiences. I think this what Robert Pirsig is getting at in his book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainence. Our society is run largely on logic, which produces a heightened want of efficiency. I feel this does not need elaboration as it is easy to see. However, I do want a society run by intuition alone. Intuition often involves reactionary impulses to do something as it is based in emotions. Civilization needs to be well thought out. Civilization needs more than the most efficient decision as that does not always lead to an experience that generates the highest quality. Quality is a mixture of efficiency and inefficiency, or romance and logic. I guess what I argue for and wonder is how we can make decisions that are more spiritual. By more spiritual I mean in more consideration for the human spirit or soul instead of material or physical things. --- A reminder to comment the context you are reading this in. It has started raining now. People are still walking by but with umbrellas and hoods. Thank you 1/15/2018 0 Comments January 15th, 2018Robin Gagne had gotten himself arrested. They were waiting outside his home in Victoria, BC. The siren and flashing lights could be seen outside the window. All he could do was step outside and commit. There was hesitation before his hand grabbed the doorknob. Pulling open the front door he then stepped inside waiting cop car.
When I got inside I realized that the vehicle was empty. As I moved to the drivers seat, I found it running, and, as I put my foot into the gas pedal I woke up. My alarm clock was going off and I quickly stirred out of bed. The dream was especially vivid. Today I was arrested for a different reason. There were troubles writing my article on the metabolic rift. I read through it today and realized I was missing a section. I talk about the rift and mention it's presence. However, I don't go into how the rift manifests. What I want to talk about in social theory is called commodity fetish. A commodity fetish is a distorted view of the product. Our perspective of food is untrue. My perspective is untrue because I don't grow food. The only experience of it is at my parents house. I remember the warm soil on my feet as I stand in the garden picking peas. When I go to the farmers market I can talk to a farmer and ask questions. I can generate a feeling of how the food was produced. At the grocer store under the floresent light I can talk to a clerk. Who I highly doubt has any idea about anything about the plant. That's an assumption. The point is that our culture focuses on the point of sale instead of the point of production. There are a lot of processes, and food miles, between me and the reality of the food we eat. Part of our changing ecology is appearing in community gardens, 100 mile diets, and certifications. Anyone who has seen cowspiracy, food inc., or earthlings know what seeing the experience of food production around meat is like. Generally, food is removed from it's context leaving it in a void. Therefore, grocery stores and advertisers have space to re-enchant food for you. What's interesting is that they indirectly challenge the critiquing narrative. Take this car commercial for example. Notice that they place the car on an open road, no traffic, and a lot of nature. They are challenging the narrative that cars cause congestion and pollution by showing the the opposite in the scenery. Pay attention to the next car commercial and let me know if it's true. The point is to bring us back into the experience that is closest to food production. It allows people to make the value judgement based on the quality of experience. Lately, I have been talking a lot about Quality. Quality either emerges out of constructs subjects and objects, which fill our experience. Quality is the relationship between subjects and objects that produce an experience. For example, Robin Gagne is an emergent experience, or personality, of a combination of values, fears, genes, digestive system, etc. The same is said for Victoria, BC. Where 100s, and 1000s, of people interact that produce our cultural experience. Robert Pirsig claims that we all have a sense of quality (maybe synonymous with intuition), which is both inherent and trainable. If we align ourselves up rationally, romantically, and spiritually then we produce the better quality. The way we act, think, and percieve are all based on conventions, or what is convenient for the time. I'll have to come back to this when it's fresh on my mind. I'm too tired to really elaborate on this topic and it deserves clarity. So, I'll go back to the morning. I spent three hours reading. I finished the Economist magazine I've been holding onto. I picked it up because I was interested in the economics of Artificial Intelligence. It sounds very competitive out there with a couple major players and a fear of what AI will do to competition and the world in general. By the sounds of it we are far away from general intelligence and, to my surprise, not that close to an AI that dominates the financial market. They are working on that though. You can check out section of Obama's interview on Wired here. Night. 1/14/2018 0 Comments January 14th, 2018Robin Gagne today was not who he was yesterday. In fact, he was 80 dollars richer.
Last night my friend Nathan hosted a poker game at his house. We got up to 9 players and had a honey pot of over 500 dollars. I managed to walk away with 120$ (counting a 40$ buy in). My friend Kevin walked away with over 250$ for first place. I was surprised at how a few of the players were seemingly just throwing away money. A couple of them had put in over 100$. You'd think they would stop or maybe change their strategy of approach. Either way I'm grateful for the money. I've taken onto researching everything that is present in my life. The internet is an absolute wealth of knowledge and I have been tapping into it to augment my own understanding and skillset. I was reading up on how to not suck at poker. The three biggest take aways: play fewer hands, don't bluff, and play good hands. Seems like common sense. However, playing only one hand of fifteen (or more) can get a little boring. I still bluff occasionally, which means I don't always play good hands. I can read players, know what an out is and how to count them, and can kind of do pot odds. It was enough to play with more confidence and to show up an hour late while still getting ahead. Today, was more relaxed. I woke up near eleven because I drank a coffee at 1030pm last night. I got home at one and just laid pretending to be asleep like I could fake myself out. I made a good hash for breakfast: carrots, zucchini, potatoes, chicken, salt, pepper, and sunny side up eggs x2. My girlfriend and I went for a four hike afterwards. We went to Mt. Doug, which is a park 10 minutes walking from our house. We went around the south side to little Mt. Doug, before scaling the west wall to the top of Mt. Doug, then heading down through a creek and out to beach. There were a lot of people out today with their dogs. When we got home Brooklyn had spent some time baking a loaf. I crossed a line when I went to rip a small piece of the top. I ended up with larger than necessary piece. She had to leave the room. When she came back she had decided we should be roommates when it comes to food. Apparently, it is sacrilegious to take only a top piece of a loaf. I imagine it is similar to taking only the muffin tops off a muffin. Life is different living in a house with three girls. First, none of my roommates before ever baked. Should I have known the etiquette surrounding the loaf? |
AuthorRobin Roger Gagne is a freelance writer, web designer, and SEO wizard. Archives
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